


War

by iLurked



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Hydra? What Hydra? AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-04
Updated: 2014-06-04
Packaged: 2018-02-03 09:27:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1739630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iLurked/pseuds/iLurked
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ward desperately struggled to free himself from his bonds, but it was no use. He had to admit, it was not one of his finest moment. He went to sleep fine and woke up helplessly bound.</p>
            </blockquote>





	War

**Author's Note:**

> For #wssummer week 2   
> Prompt: Vendetta

“What are you doing?” Grant Ward growled, trying to stare down the normally laid-back biochemist.

“This is no more than you deserve,” the dainty-looking Simmons met Ward’s fierce glare with her own. “You’re only mad because I got the upper hand.”

Ward paused. Considered. Simmons looked like she would not be swayed by intimidation. He tried another tactic. “I never meant for you to be caught in the crossfire. You were just at the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“You think that would make me feel better?” Simmons frowned up at him. “Because it doesn’t!”

Ward desperately struggled to free himself from his bonds, but it was no use. He had to admit, it was not one of his finest moment. He went to sleep fine and woke up helplessly bound.

For a specialist who prided himself on his ability to wake up at a moment’s notice, this was definitely a fuck up of epic proportions. That it was a five-foot four, non-field certified SHIELD scientist who caught him unaware while he was sleeping was adding insult to injury.

Wait a minute. It was impossible for him not to wake up when Simmons walked into his bunk. She did not know how to move quietly to save her life. That must mean—

“Did you drug me?” Ward demanded.

Simmons’ eyes narrowed in annoyance. “Does it matter?” She asked. “This is payback.”

This was not in Ward’s plans.

All he wanted was to get his revenge.

Everyone knew that the kitchen was Ward’s place of escape, the place he retreated to when he was tired. If he was mulling over something in his brain, he either ate or cooked. All knew that the kitchen was supposed to be sacred!

Unfortunately, it was now one of the locus of the ongoing prank war between Skye and Fitz.

First, there were the cookies with hot chilies that made Ward’s mouth burn for a week. Then there were the mayonaise-filled donuts. Afterward came the fruits, vegetables, and meats randomly injected with hot sauce. But the worst thus far, in Ward’s opinion, were the caramel onions pretending to be apples.

It had come to the point that Ward was actually afraid of eating anything from the kitchen.

He therefore vowed to take his revenge.

One fine Wednesday noon, when he knew Fitz and Skye were both in the SHIELD Safe House, Ward put baking soda into the ketchup bottle. He was ashamed to admit that said acts filled him with glee. The impatience he felt while waiting for either Fitz or Skye to come into the kitchen was surprising and so unbecoming of a specialist.

Unfortunately, it was Simmons who wandered into the kitchen first, lured by the smell of hamburgers Ward had just finished nuking.

Of course, the only reason why Simmons was not involved in the prank wars was because she was on a special assignment about a killer virus spreading over at Australia.

He was too late to stop her from opening the bottle, so he could only gape in shock as ketchup exploded all over Simmons’ pristine white lab coat.

To make matters worse, Agent Clint Barton chose that moment to walk in and saw her with ketchup all over.

How was Ward to know that Simmons had a crush on Hawkeye? (What was it with intelligent and beautiful women that they found broody and deadly men so attractive? Also, what was it with Hawkeye that bow and arrows were his weapons of choice when there were so more modern and more effective alternatives?)

“I said I was sorry!” Ward told Simmons. “How was I supposed to know that you’re the first one to come into the kitchen that day?” He knew he sounded like a petulant child, but he couldn’t help himself.

Hands on her waist, Simmons growled, “You should have known because Agent Barton was scheduled to fly me to Australia that morning!”

They glared at each other heatedly.

Ward wished heatedly here meant the sexy and passion-filled. Unfortunately, in this case, the glaring was filled with vindictiveness and anger.

As expected, it was Simmons who was the first to break eye contact, because she really can’t stand still for long periods of time. She had to be doing something. With a sniff, she turned to leave.

“Wait!” Ward called out. If he could kick himself at the whiny tone in his voice, he would have, but he was in a full-body restraint. “You can’t just leave me here!”

“Watch me.”

“No!” He called out desperately, because if someone saw him, he would never be able to live it down. “I can tell you who started this, the proximate causes of you being humiliated in front of Agent Barton.”

Simmons paused and considered. Then she turned back to Ward. “I’m listening.”

“Skye and Fitz.” Ward had no compunctions about throwing his teammates under the proverbial bus. “They’re the masterminds. I was just reacting. I propose a truce between the two of us. Better: we should join forces. With your brain and my brawn, we could take those two.”

Simmons eyes narrowed. “I’ll think about it.” And with a dramatic turn, she left Ward alone in the recreation room of the SHIELD Safe House.

And that was how Grant Ward, specialist extraordinaire, spent half a day duct-taped to a ceiling, courtesy of one pissed off biochemist, who, to this day, refused to tell anyone how she pulled off a prank of this proportion.

…

“What were the two of you thinking?” Coulson demanded hotly.

Simmons looked chastised. Ward knew how much she hated disappointing Coulson.

Still, her reply was a surprise. “It was Ward’s idea!”

“It was not!” Ward spluttered.

“Who proposed a truce and a joining of forces?” Simmons demanded.

“Me, but—“

“Who said the combination of my brain and your brawn would take down Fitz and Skye?”

“Mine, but—“

“Enough!” Coulson slammed his hands on the table. Then, he turned to Ward. “Skye and Fitz thought you were dead. They saw what they though was your head inside a jar in the laboratory .They sent out a level three alert and called for back up. Do you have an idea how much paperwork that generated? Paperwork that would go through my office and that I would have to tend to personally?”

Ward winced. In retrospect, the prank they played may be taking it too far, considering the line of work they were in. But then again, Skye and Fitz should not have dished it out when they were unable to take it.

“How you could go from replacing Oreo fillings with toothpaste to this is beyond me.” Coulson muttered. “Ward, you knew better than to encourage the young agents. And Simmons, I expected better from you.”

“I apologize, sir.” Simmons stated quickly. “I didn’t know what came over me.”

“Me, too, sir.” Ward added.

Coulson sighed. How was he supposed to head SHIELD when he could not even get his own agents in order?

“Alright.” Coulson looked at them sternly. “But I am declaring that as of right now, this prank war is over.”

“Yes, sir.” Ward and Simmons chorused.

“Fine. You’re dismissed. Fitz and Skye are cooling their heels in the kitchen. Send them over to me.”

Their walk from Coulson’s office to the kitchen was silent.

However, just before Ward opened the door to the kitchen, he was halted by Simmons’ hand on his arm.

“I apologise for duct-taping you to the ceiling.” She told him.

“It was my fault.” Ward shrugged. “I shouldn’t have let you open the tampered ketchup bottle.”

“Yes, well, I don’t often lose my temper, but when I do,” Simmons shrugged. “I lose my head completely.”

“But how did you make it appear that my head was floating inside a jar?” Ward asked.

“It’s a doctored photo of your head stuffed in a jar.” She laughed.

“You’re an evil genius,” Ward told her, impressed.

“You say that like it’s a good thing.” She muttered glumly. “But thank you.”

“Ready to go in?”

Simmons nodded.

Inside, Skye and Fitz were preparing the evening meal for the Safe House’s crew, their punishment for instigating the prank wars. They were uncharacteristically quiet, as if they were waiting for their execution.

“Coulson summons you to his office,” Ward said, washing his hands, as him and Simmons were on kitchen duty, too.

Skye and Fitz sighed in unison.

Before anyone could make a move, however, the alarms tripped.

“What is going on?” Skye shouted over the loud alarms.

“I think it’s the fire alarm!” Simmons shouted back.

“The kitchen door’s jammed.” Ward announced as he tried to open the door, to no avail.

He backed up and put himself between the door and the three younger agents.

“What is going on?” Fitz cried out.

“Let me see,” Skye picked up her tablet and tried to get into the system. “I’m offline!”

Thankfully, the alarms cut off. Unfortunately, ten seconds thereafter, the sprinklers activated. Worse, instead of water, red liquid poured out of the sprinklers, drenching them.

Skye shrieked and tried to protect her tablet.

Instinctively, Ward turned and hunched over Simmons, but the liquid was getting everywhere and turning everything red.

“What are you doing?” Fitz asked in disgust when he saw Simmons tasting the liquid coming out of the sprinklers.

“Science,” she replied simply. “The liquid appears to be red Kool Aide.”

Meanwhile, back in his office, a dry and calm Coulson watched the pandemonium unfolding in the kitchen from the comfort of the surveillance video.

“Was that really necessary?” May asked, entering his office.

“No,” Coulson said. “But it makes me feel better.”

May shook her head and rolled her eyes. She was surrounded by children

…

Grant Ward woke up to a pounding headache and the loss of sensation in his lower limbs. For a minute, he thought he was once again duct-taped to the ceiling, before he remembered that he and Simmons had called a truce.

“Easy,” a soft voice murmured even as strong hands helped him up.

Headache aside, he could have woken up in a worse place. After all, his head was lovingly cradled on Simmons’ lap.

“What happened?” He groaned, not that he minded waking up to her.

“We were drugged.” Came May’s voice from somewhere behind him.

Ward tried looking up, but was only rewarded with a bolt of pain for his efforts.

“We woke up here,” Simmons sighed. “Coulson, Fitz, and Skye are all still sleeping.”

“Where are we?” Ward groaned. Steeling himself, he forced his body to get up because as comfortable as Simmons’ lap was, he had a duty to protect her and the team.

“The supply closet.” May replied. “I can’t open the door, though. Something is jamming it from the other side.”

Even the combined strength of May, Ward, and Simmons could not dislodge the thing blocking the door.

Soon, those still unconscious woke up one by one. They all lent their strengths in the attempt to open the door, to no avail.

“What is going on?” Skye cried out as she kicked the wall in frustration.

“Self-destruct mode activated.” An androgynous robotic voice announced. “The building will self destruct in one minute.”

“What did you do?” Fitz screeched at Skye.

“I didn’t do anything!” Skye screamed back.

“This is not helping!” Coulson shouted over the two of them. “May, is there any other exit aside from the door?”

“Negative.” Was the reply. “The walls and the ceiling are made of cement.”

“Skye, have you tried calling out for help?” Coulson continued.

“I’m trying but without a signal, my phone is next to useless.”

“The building will self-destruct in thirty seconds.” The robotic voice announced.

“FitzSimmons?” Was Coulson’s next attempt. “We could use your big brains here.”

The duo used ten precious seconds thinking.

“I’ve got nothing.” Fitz admitted.

“Me, too.” Simmons cried out, her hands clutching Ward’s in panic.

“The building will self-destruct in fifteen seconds.” The robotic voice announced.

“Ward?” Coulson turned his eyes to the specialist.

“Only this,” he said as he grabbed Simmons, dipped her, and kissed her like the world was ending. Their world was ending, after all.

Simmons’ eyes widened, but she, too, poured all her heart, everything unspoken, each missed chances, into the kiss.

The four other agents gaped.

“What the hell.” Throwing caution into the wind, Sky grabbed Fitz’s face and kissed him.

May’s eyes met Coulson’s.

“Might as well, right?” The new SHIELD director ask. “Let’s leave the earth with no regrets.”

Smiling, May kissed Coulson passionately.

“The building will self-destruct in five. Four. Three. Two. One.”

Instead of the expected explosion, there was a soft pop before thousands of confetti fell on the shocked agents’ heads.

Elsewhere in the same building:

“That was unexpected.” Nick Fury frowned up at his tiny screen.

“What was the purpose of this exercise, sir?” Maria Hill asked.

“Nothing.” Nick Fury shrugged. “I was just bored.”


End file.
